First love

I’VE HEARD THAT THE FIRST

TIME YOU FALL IN LOVE,

YOU STOP GROWING AS

A SINGULAR PERSON AND

INSTEAD LEARN HOW TO

EVOLVE WITH WHAT IS

IN FRONT OF YOU, 

LIKE THE TREES THAT GROW

IN LOOPEDY-LOOPS THROUGH

CORPORATE WINDOWS AND

FLOWERS DESPERATELY SPROUTING

THROUGH THE CRACKS OF THE SIDEWALK.

I’VE HEARD THAT THE FIRST 

TIME YOU FALL IN LOVE,

YOU REVERT TO A CHILDLIKE

STATE OF DEPENDENCY,

WHERE FREUD BELIEVES THE

FIRST STAGE OF THE PERSONALITY

DEVELOPS THROUGH THE

EVER-HUNGRY NEED FOR ORAL

SATISFACTION. WHEN YOU WERE 

A BABY, YOU HAD YOUR THUMB

IN YOUR MOUTH BUT NOW YOU’VE

GOT A TONGUE DOWN YOUR THROAT

AND YOU DON’T TELL THEM THAT

YOU’RE A BIG GIRL AND YOU’VE 

MOVED PAST THAT.

I’VE HEARD THAT THE FIRST 

TIME YOU FALL IN LOVE,

YOU IGNORE THAT ENOUGH IS

ENOUGH. YOUR HANDS ARE

SWEATING AND CLAMMY BUT YOU

WON’T LET THEIRS GO. EVERY TOUCH

IS A THUNDERSTORM IN ITSELF AND

YOU UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE STICK

KNIVES IN POWER OUTLETS 

BECAUSE IF LIKING ELECTRICITY

MAKES YOU SICK YOU FEEL AS IF

YOU NEVER WANT TO GET BETTER.

PEOPLE SPEND THEIR WHOLE 

LIVES SEARCHING FOR THE PERSON

THAT WILL FOLD THEIR LAUNDRY

THE WAY THEY LIKE IT BUT

THE POINT IS I FORGOT 

A PART OF MYSELF ON YOUR

BEDROOM FLOOR AND I CAN’T 

FIND THE COURAGE TO RING

YOUR DOORBELL SO YOU CAN

LET ME IN TO GET IT.